Monday, November 22, 2010

October 10, 1995
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED
HIGH SCHOOL TEAM OF THE WEEK
THE 1995 FLIPPEN BOOGERS
COACH-William D. IIBull" Horne
ASSISTANT COACH-Dwight IILefty" Wright
Trainer-Dr. C. D. Cox
STARTINGLINEUP
QB-Ivan Passmore
C-Snapper B. Goode
LT-Hugh G. Balles
LHB-Ron Amuck RHB--JacquesStrappe
RG-B.A. Blocker LG-Buster D. Legg
WR-N.E. Hand TE-Harry Palmer
FB--Jody Greinder
RT-Rocky Rhodes
K-TomAtoe
This week's pick was an easy one. Flippen, Georgia is a small rural town of about 3,000
people, south of Atlanta, between Morrow and McDonough. Whatever they lack in population, they
make up for in heart and soul on the local high school football field. The undefeated Flippen
Boogers are having another fine winning streak and as of today, are 610.Experts predict that they
will once again win the state championship. Looks like another memorable year for Coach Home
and his fine boys. The Boogers have won the state class A football championship 12 times in the
last 20 years, and they are respected all over the state. Many past members of the teams have
gone on to football success in college and the pros. Under the dynamic leadership of longtime
coach and 1962 alumni William "Bull" Home, the mighty Boogers have achieved an unequaled
athletic success record. They are a small team, and many of the players have to play both offense
and defense. They get tired, they don't complain, they just do it. Small in number, but big in heart.
Coach Home was presented with a lifetime achievement award last year at the annual sports
banquet at the Jodeco Road Waffle House. Whenasked about his secret for consistently winning
more games than any football coach in Georgia history, Coach Horne said, "Player happiness.
A happy team is a successful team, and I always make sure my boys are happy. You have to keep
their spirits up. You don't win championships with unhappy players. It's simple, if you make them
happy they will do anything for you, and if you make them unhappy, they will do nothing for you.
It's your choice as a coach." Coach Horne believes that his once a week (never when it's raining)
30 minute practice sessions, the nonstop womanizing, the lack of sleep, and a healthy diet of cold
beer, french fries, and chocolate MoonPies contributes to the team's phenomenal success. Coach
Home is a big man (6"5"' 29Slbs) and often says, "Just look at Babe Ruth. He was overweight and
often drunk while playing, but he was the greatest baseball player of all time." I reminded the
good coach that we were talking about football here, not baseball. He said, " It doesn't matter
what sport. A jock is ajock. My boys outplay many guys who are in much better shape. But, we
always beat them. It's the power of positive thinking. I'm into winning football games, not
producing role models. Weare ballplayers, not pretty boys. Slobs rule."

Coach Horne believes that other coaches, who make their players practice twice a day,
abstain from sex, get adequate rest, and eat healthy diets often do more harm than good. He says,
1'7"00 much practice takes the fun out of the game, causes too many injuries, and makes the
players tired and unhappy. I've only got 15players, and if any of them get mad at me and quit the
team, I might have to send in some of our cheerleaders as replacements." Co-Captain Mabel
McElroy (5" 2"' 205) says she's ready to go anytime she's needed. Now that's school spirit. He
added, IWhat if a kid comes here, behaves himself, avoids the girls, eats healthy food, does all
the right things, is a rising star with scholarship offers galore, and then gets his knee blown out
in the last game of his senior year. He'll never play again. There goes his scholarship, and he's
missed all that incredible teenage fun for nothing. I just can't do that to a kid. Youonly live once."
Onthe subject of player diet, the good coach says, " If you force players to eat food that doesn't
taste good, they are going to show up at practice, or the game, in a bad mood, unable to focus,
and they will not play well. Broccoli is healthy, but it tastes terrible. Thinking about broccoli puts
me in a bad mood. My boys get their protein from beer, their carbohydrates from french fries, and
their energy from the chocolate Moon Pies. It's not brain surgery, but, now that I think about it,
it might be heart surgery for them someday. I would never ask my boys to abstain from sex. It's
the greatest mood booster in the world. Have you ever tried to playa football game horny and
after eating broccoli? It just doesn't work. Talk about a bad mood. I can tell when one of my boys
shows up at practice or a game freshly laid. He plays with more enthusiasm than normal He is
wound up and running on ten. I like that." Always a powerhouse, the 1995Flippen Boogers have
been further strengthened by the recent arrival of two talented foreigners. This year's starting
quarterback with the golden arm, Ivan Passmore, is from St. Petersburg, Russia, and the fleet
footed new halfback, and leading rusher, Jacques Strappe, is from Paris, France. Ivan's family
owned a vodka fat;tory in Russia, and Jacque's family owned a winery in the south of France.
Their old world family connections ship treats to the boys, and help keep the team happy. The
team has benefitted greatly from the recent arrival of complementary alcoholic beverages, and
it's more fun than drinking Gatorade. Aided in the backfield by junior speedster Ron Amuck and
senior fullback Jody Greinder, the running oHense seems unstoppable. Sophomore tight end
Harry Palmer andjunior wide receiver N.E. Hand round out the passing attack. Both average 8or
more receptions per game. Senior kicker/punter Tom Atoe has not missed an extra point or field
goal in three seasons, and averages 51yards per punt. Pretty remarkable for a boy who had polio
in his right leg as a child. Center Snapper B. Goode and guard Buster D. Legg, both seniors, have
been working out daily at the county jail, and are expected to make bail and be ready to play
Friday night. If their families can't get them out, the coach can. Sophomore tackles Hugh G. Balles
and Rocky Rhodes both have part time jobs at McDonald's, but have arranged with their shift
supervisor to be 0"for the game. Whenquestioned about rumors that fullback Jody Greinder was
intoxicated when he ran the wrong way and scored a touchdown for the opposing team last week,
Coach Home replied, "That's called positive motivation. Wewere ahead 86 to nothing, and I let
him do that just to make the other team feel good and boost their self esteem. That coach is a
buddy of mine, and he really hates a shutout. No need for me to ruin his day." In response to
allegations that halfback Jacques Strappe was caught fondling the captain of the cheerleaders
under the bleachers at half time last week, Coach Home said, "Well, you know how them
Frenchmen are." And finally, in response to allegations by the referee, that the team members
were passing around a marijuana joint in the huddle, and not offering him any, thereby causing
a delay of game penalty, Coach Home said, "I see nothing, I see nothing." The Flippen Boogers
are heavy favorites this Friday night at home against the Pitt County Bulldogs.

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